SIX Months Already???

WOW!!!! I cannot believe how fast time flies with a baby. I can still remember most of my pregnancy, labor, and delivery as if it just happened, but my baby girl has been here for 6+ months already! It's depressing and fascinating at the same time. She's is quite the little entertainer and busy body. She does love most of her toys, but prefers anything she sees mommy and daddy using (remote controls, cell phones, paper, computers, etc.). LOL!

I do believe the greatest joy and the greatest gift is being a mother. I mean I always knew I wanted children, but I never could've imagined how much they change your life, and you.

Noelle is sitting up now and trying to crawl, but mostly head scoots (don't ask). LOL! No, you'll probably never see a video of Noelle doing any of this, because she stops as soon as she hears the camera cut on, so maybe when she's older. She's started eating some baby food, mostly fruits and veggies, and she loves them. She gets so excited when she sees her food and spoon. She's ready to feed herself.


Noelle was dedicated back to the Lord by her father and I on December 14, 2008, and that was one of the most special days in all of our lives, I guess except for the day she was born. So much family and friends came out to support and participate, and my baby girl ended up with SIX godparents. I guess one for each month she had been alive. No, but in all honesty, I truly don't have the words to express how thankful I am to God for blessing our families with this little girl.

Noelle with Mommy and Daddy


Noelle with Mommy and Godfathers


Noelle with Daddy and Godmothers



I can't believe there's only a week left until her first Christmas! I cannot wait, and although she won't remember, she'll have the pictures to look back on when she's older.

Getting Comfortable

I think most of my new mommy fears are gone now. I am learning to relax and let Noelle show me what it is she needs and wants. There is no doubt that my baby girl is ready for some real food now. She is determined to one day reach into mommy's plate. I never thought that I would ever feel this much love in my life. And she's so small. I mean, I know babies are blessings and I know and try to understand what people go through for babies, and I feel extremely blessed to have been able to conceive Noelle naturally and I don't know what my world would be without her. I find myself sometime just staring at her, still in awe that she is mine. The best part of my day is picking her up from the sitter after work. Yes, as she's getting older, she demands more time and attention, but I always keep my cool remembering how quickly this time will pass. The good news is I no longer want to stop time in this moment. I'm excited for her to grow up and learn new things and I am learning to appreciate those times more than anything else in the world. It seems as if I can't kiss her enough or cuddle with her enough, so yes, I spend a great deal of the evenings holding her and talking to her, enjoying these moments of her being so small. She's such a happy baby too! Such a joy to wake up and go to sleep too...well maybe not the sleep so much, but you know what I mean. Some nights are rough, and I get absolutely nothing done until after 11pm, and some nights, especially when daddy's home, I can even cook dinner. But regardless of all the hard times, I wouldn't trade motherhood and the feeling and love that I have for anything in this world. Just felt a little sentimental and wanted to write something about my baby girl Noelle Anaya.

Noelle's First Halloween

Awww!!! My baby girl was a Lovebug for her first Halloween. Thanks goes out to my roomie for getting her a costume from Old Navy during their HUGE sale. We paid $5, marked down from $22. I think I'll wait like that for a couple of years :) Although I've been pretty down in the dumps lately, it was very important to me to have pictures of Noelle for her first Halloween in a costume. My happy girl did so well at the picture studio and smiled without hesitation in just about every shot. I tell you, she can brighten the darkest of days. I cannot wait to take Christmas pictures. We're going to return to the Picture People for her first picture with Santa as well, instead of waiting in the long line at the mall. Here are a few proofs from the shoot. I can't believe my little patootie will be five months in a few days. : ( Time sure does fly.

Four Months Old - My big girl!

I didn't want to wait until after her doctor's appointment to post. Noelle is such a jewel, the light of my life for real. I never knew that I could love someone as much as I love her.

We recently had another road trip to Ohio for my cousin's wedding and Noelle did wonderful, of course. I think having her used to the long car rides will be good for us in the long run. It'll make it easier to do family trips and hopefully get out to some of these states to visit some of my friends : )

Noelle has managed to pull out most of her hair. LOL! She does it mostly when she's sleeping...I don't know why. So I have a beautiful, bald-head, little girl. LOL!!!! Noelle has found her voice and loves to squeal and babble. It's the best sound ever. She is also very much a daddy's girl. I mean, he just looks at her and she smiles from ear to ear! It is so sweet. She has started reaching for things now...she reached for the keyboard the other day. She's not quite reaching for food, so we won't be starting solids anytime soon.

She is just a happy girl and she's doing great. Here are some recent pictures.

Noelle and Aunt Cecile at the Wedding


Noelle in her Bumbo in the hotel


Noelle at home

Three and a half Months

I've been such a lame blogger lately. Work has been so busy, as has life, so I've not been able to post. Where do I begin? Well, Noelle got her ears pierced on Sunday, September 7, 2008 at the Piercing Pagoda. She cried holy hell and I felt so horrible, but after a quick nursing session, she was fine and appeared to get over it. Here she is about an hour after having them done.



We've also switched babysitters. Long story short, things just didn't work out with the first one and she made me feel uncomfortable asking questions about my daughter's well being while in her care, so last Monday, Noelle started at a new sitter. Things have been going great. Noelle always looks so happy when I drop her off and pick her up and she's always very clean.

In developmental news, we've started more tummy time. Noelle can hold her head up pretty high. She's also babbling tons! It's the greatest sound to me and I look forward to coming home in the evenings just to see her smile and hear her squeals. Here's a picture of my big girl holding up her head.



It's amazing how much she's grown and changed over the past 15 weeks. I can't believe she's been here that long, but at the same time, it feels like she just got here. She goes for her 4 month appointment on October 10th. I'm anxious to see how much she's grown since her 2 month appointment. Oh yeah, Noelle's also trying to pull herself into a sitting position and a standing one too. She's ready to take on the world. Here are some pictures of her sitting in her Bumbo and in her crib.







I can't wait to see what she does next. I just bought her a Baby Einstein floor gym that I need to get set up and I will also try to get some videos of her babbling. I guess that's the update for now. We're both happy and healthy.

10 Weeks Today!

Sorry it's taken so long, but it's been a busy couple of weeks. I returned to work August 4, 2008, so I've been getting used to our new routine, which leaves very little time for me to type updates. The first week back to work was very hard. I cried everyday. This week is a little better, but I did go see her at lunch time yesterday. I was able to nurse her, which also made me feel a little better. I must say that we are truly blessed to have her sitter living in the same building with us and I am so thankful for this. I am able to work my same schedule. I am sure that in time, this will become easier.

Noelle is 10 weeks and doing so well. She had her two month doctor's appointment this past Friday and now weighs 11 pounds 4 ounces and is 22 inches long. The doctor said she is doing well, despite a little skin thing, but I just have to moisturize her three to four times a day with either olive oil (which I prefer) or baby lotion (we use Aveeno). The doctor said the condition is especially prevalent in African-American babies and that because it's summer, it's a little worse for her. The doctor was also amazed at how alert Noelle was and trying to mock her mouth movements. Noelle very much wants to talk, but there's not much sound coming out. She has spells of tremendous cooing, but overall, she still just moves her mouth.

She loves to smile and "laugh" and is very content when in her crib watching her mobile go round. I mostly do this when I need my hands free for a moment. Her head/neck control is very good too. She still sleeps on her belly unless she is in the bed with me, then she is on her side or back. She does mostly sleep in her crib though. I don't think there's much else to report. She still wears 0-3 months and will probably make it through August in that size. **Note to self: start buying more 3-6 months clothes.

Going back to work

Yep, I'll be going back to work Monday, August 4, 2008. I'm a little sad about it, but I think I'm ready. Not that I wouldn't love to be at home with Noelle, but I have accepted that I have to go back to work, and it's time. Plus I don't have any more leave so staying home any longer is not an option. Fortunately, my neighbor has offered to keep Noelle for a great price. The fact that Noelle will be right downstairs and I only work 15 minutes away is a blessing in itself. I just printed some of my favorite pictures of her off the computer to put on my desk. I try not to think of me missing her growing up, because even just typing it makes me sad.

My cousin said to me that at least I'll have something to look forward to in the evenings and she's right. I can't wait until I can have more time off from work to just be with Noelle. Already, I know. But in the meantime, I need to prepare myself physically (wardrobe) and mentally to go back to the daily grind. I'm kind of excited, if I'm being honest. It kind of feels like the first day of school. Haha. I spoke to my supervisor today, and I'll be busy for a while, which will hopefully help the day pass. I'm going to try not to call the babysitter too much or come home for lunch too much, but I probably will at least twice a week...until I get tired of the cost of gas to do that. LOL. Ok, I'm rambling now. Let me get back to the rest of So You Think You Can Dance.

Ciao!

Why can't we be more than her parents?

Ok, this is not a post about my life as a mommy, but my life as woman and a lover. I find myself caught in this place where I know that he's no good for me, yet there is a part of me that wishes he were the one for me. The more he's around, the more these feelings linger. And it's not like I can just tell him to not be around, because that's not fair to our daughter, but what about my feelings in all of this? I really feel like the only way for me to be able to move on is for me to move away, and needing or wanting to be away from him is really a driving factor in my consideration of relocating. I'm tired of pretending that I don't feel these things or this way, but it's more exhausting to do that. If I could just accept the fact that we don't have to be anything more than mommy and daddy to Patootie, life would be grand. The problem with that is that I never dreamed that I wouldn't be with my child's father...not to say that I figured him and I would have kids in particular, but whomever the father of my child(ren) would be, I thought we would always be a we, so I'm having a little trouble letting go. I know no one can make a decision for me and I know that there are quite a few folks who would love to shove him down a flight of stairs (ok, maybe that's extreme), but I want to be ok and have peace with WHATEVER decision I make. I could just kick myself for letting him back in our lives. I should've turned him away that day he came to see her. No, I have no idea what I'm going to do, and I'm probably setting myself up to be disappointed and heartbroken, but can I at least be happy right now?

What's so wrong with us being more to each other than just Noelle's parents?

Our First Road Trip

Well Patootie and I journeyed with my mom to Virginia Beach, VA for the weekend. It was her first road trip, and yeah, she slept for most of it both ways. The only problem was we left a little later Friday than intended and what should be a three and half hour drive, turned into six and a half! Of course I think Mom and I were more affected by it than Noelle, although she does get frustrated in her carseat after too long. That is the joy of living where we live...the traffic.

We went to visit my mom's friend, her husband, and their two dogs. We didn't actually go to the beach, but we did go out to eat at this small local seafood restaurant. The food was delicious too! Mind you that my Patootie slept most of this weekend...like she does anyway. We also went to Target, for no reason other than everyone loves Tar-jay! Oh wait, I needed diapers! LOL! I ended up spending over $150! I got a new sheet set (chocolate) and a down feather matress topper, which was the best sleep ever last night, might I add. It felt so good! We also went to look at a new condo development that my mom's friend works for and I'm seriously considering relocating, but that'll be discussed in a few more months in another post. Saturday evening, we watched Semi-Pro and the Best of Will Ferrell from SNL. He's a funny guy!

We came home yesterday and that only took four and a half hours...mom and I took the wrong beltway exit, so it added about 20 minutes to our trip. Overall, it was a nice, relaxing weekend. Nothing too exciting and my baby is so good. She didn't fuss in the car or in the house. I think she'll do fine on our trip to Georgia for Labor day.

And of course, here's a picture of patootie in her cute All-American outfit.

Ciao!

My Baby's A Month Old

Wow! Time sure does fly when you're having fun. I cannot believe that Noelle is a month old already. So far, motherhood has been very good to me. I've only had a few scary nights, mainly in these thunderstorms, but other than that, I've been ok. As far as my baby's milestones, well, she's following me with her head and eyes when I move, she's very alert when she's awake, she's feeding very well (she's gained almost 2 pounds in one month), and you can tell she's recognizing people now. She's the sweetest girl I know. I love her so much and cannot imagine my life without her. I love watching her facial expressions change when she's sleeping. She's just so darling.

So everyone keeps asking me how do I feel about being a mother and I don't know how to answer it. I feel good. I feel like this is something I was meant to do. So much of this mommy thing, I feel like it came naturally. My friend told me today that I was a good mommy, but I feel like it's too early to say that. I said I'm just giving Noelle what every human being needs; nourishment and nurturing. The testament of my mommy skills will come much later when we get into potty training, reading, writing, morality, etc...you know and those areas that build character. I just hope that I give her all she needs to be a successful woman later in life. I get nervous about things, like when she chokes or when she's grunting (which she does a lot), because I don't know if she's in pain or if she's just making noise, but overall, I'm confident in my abilities and I believe that God is watching out over me and my Patootie (yes, that's what I call her).

I have more to talk about, but that's for another post, maybe tomorrow, since I'm supposed to be resting...I'm still bleeding a bit.

Ciao!

Welcome to the World Noelle

This is the story of my little star's entry into the world. Noelle Anaya is now 12 days old, but her birth feels like it was just yesterday and so long ago at the same time.

I woke up on the morning of Thursday, June 5th around 7 am or so feeling just fine. I went to the bathroom and noticed there was pink on the toilet paper, but I shrugged it off. The doctor said I didn't need to call for "bloody show". I had a dr's appointment scheduled that day at 10:30 that morning anyway, so I figured I'd ask the doctor then. After being up for about 20 minutes, I started to have menstraul type cramps in my lower back. At first they weren't strong enough to pay any real attention to, but I decided I'd take an early shower just in case. My mom wanted me to go to the grocery store to get a few things for her elderly aunt to eat, so I did that around 8:00 or so. While in the grocery store, I was having more back pain, off and on. It hurt unlike any of the cramps that I'd had before and I had a strange feeling this was it. I decided to call the doctor's office when I got back to the house to see if I could get an earlier appointment to make sure, because I was bleeding a bit more as well.

The receptionist checked with the doctor and they told me to come right in. In the office, they hooked me up to the monitors and the doctor checked me. The doctor said I was 90% effaced, still 3cm, but definitely in labor. She called the hospital and told them she had a direct admit to labor and delivery. I was so excited! Funny, I didn't feel really nervous at the time. I called my mom who told me to go to the house and wait for her, so I did. Oh, did I mention that June 5th is also my mom's birthday? So anyway, we got to the hospital around 11 am. They didn't have a room ready for me, although my doctor called ahead of time for me to be a direct admit to L&D. Apparently they were very busy between Wednesday night and Thursday morning.

I was having contractions about every 5 -8 minutes at this point. They were very manageable for me though (at that point anyway). At around 1:30 pm, they took me to Triage and started me on IV fluids and antibiotics (positive GBS). The nurse then let me walk around with the IV pump and told me to come back in an hour. Me and my roommate went walking around the hospital. After about 40 minutes we went back to triage where they held a bed for me since they were still waiting on beds in L&D. After about another half hour, I got tired of coping with labor in the waiting room and decided to try my luck in the bed in triage. Laying on my left side wasn't too bad. At around 3pm, the nurse wanted to check me again. As I went to roll from my left side to my back, I felt a kind of pop. The nurse said, "Oh good, you ruptured your membranes." I tell you. I'm glad my water broke in the hospital cause it was so much!

She checked me and I was only three and a half dialated, but 100% effaced. I was a little nervous, because I knew this meant my contractions would increase in intensity, and boy did it not take long. After about five minutes, my contractions were coming every two to three minutes and lasting LONG! I barely had time to breathe between them. I started getting light headed and felt like I wanted to throw up, but I didn't. The nurse checked my fluids and said there was some meconium in it, so she called over to L&D and they said 20 minutes on my bed. I thought I was going to DIE! I was in so much pain. They wouldn't let me sit up in the bed or change positions at all! I was furious. I feel like if I hadn't been forced to lay down, I probably could've dealt with the contractions a little more, but since the nurse told me they weren't going to let me walk anymore, I told her I needed an Epi.

Ok, so finally around 4pm they wheeled me over to L&D. They wanted me to fill out paperwork for the anesthisiologist (yeah right). Again I started getting hot and lightheaded and I vomitted. Transition. I thought ok, it's getting very close now. It only took the anesthesiologist about 10 minutes to come (thank God). I had two contractions while she was doing the epi, but I was sitting up and they didn't feel too bad. Go figure, but anyway... After my epi, the nurse checked me and I was still only at three and a half. She said the next time the doctor will check me. She said the epi should help me progress. Well the doctor came in at 6pm and checked me. By that time I was feeling LOVELY! I cooled down and just felt great. At 6 pm, I was already to 7cm, so I knew it would be too long before Noelle came.

Labor after the epi was pretty uneventful. Me and my family talked politics. Well, the doctor came back at 8pm to check me again and he said it was time! He started getting himself ready and I was laying in the bed going, "oh no, it's almost over". I was really starting to miss my pregnancy already. I started pushing at around 10 after 8. They had to give me a slow pitocin drip because I wasn't really feeling the contractions, but I was pushing good. The doctor left for a few minutes to give the pit some time to take effect. I had maybe two contractions while the doctor was gone, and at the middle of the second contraction, the nurse had to tell me to stop pushing. I could feel Noelle's head ready to come out. I even asked to see it in the mirror, which was both gross and cool. I pushed twice for the doctor and out came her head. I pushed again and out popped her shoulder. I gave one more small push and out came the rest of Noelle. It was surreal feeling her body leaving mine. I felt both joy and sadness. I wanted to still be pregnant I guess.

Noelle Anaya was born Thursday, June 5, 2008 (my mother's birthday too!) at 8:43pm weighing 6 lbs 14.6oz and 20 inches long. It was the greatest experience of my life. I wish I could revisit it or relive it. She is absolutely beautiful and overall a very easy baby.